Authentic Forgiveness

forgiveness

When we can recognize ourselves in others and we can accept that all of creation is connected, we learn the meaning of authentic forgiveness.

Authentic forgiveness is the ability to let go of grievances; criticism, objections, judgements, guilt, blame – and turn those grievances into acceptance.

Accepting that life is sometimes unfair. Accepting that most people are not going to fall under our idea of ‘perfect’. Accepting that everyone is perfectly who they are. Accepting every mistake (yes, even the big ones!) as an opportunity for correction, an opportunity to learn, an opportunity for growth.  Accepting that what might be right for you is not necessarily what is right for the next person. Accepting that things are rarely as they seem. Accepting that what may seem like an injustice may actually come to be a blessing. And finally, accepting that God’s plan for you may be different than what you had planned yourself.

Ego plays a dark role in all our lives. It’s that annoying little voice inside that tells us we are inadequate, that we need to prove ourselves to everyone around us, making us believe that we are somehow better or that we don’t quite measure up to others, leaving us questioning whether we are failures or too good for our own good. Ego’s will is to keep us feeling separate and alone. Ego is our greatest deceiver.

The truth is that we are all sharing this experience together. We all fight the same battles, the only difference is in how our problems and challenges present themselves and how we react to them. Consider this for a moment: All problems stem from separation.

If this is true, authentic forgiveness / connection is the answer to every problem. When authentic forgiveness is achieved all that is left is absolute love and acceptance for all that is.

We will do anything to protect and care for those we feel completely connected to.We will make time for them. We will smile and acknowledge them. We will make sure they are fed, clothed, and loved. We will swallow our pride, let go of our ego and apologize when necessary. We will allow them to make mistakes, even if sometimes we are hurt in the process. When we feel connected, when we let go of judgments, blame, and grievances, we accept. We accept every person. We accept each moment. We accept our circumstances. We love ourselves enough to learn from every person, each circumstance and make change when necessary.

In a world of connection and absolute forgiveness, no one is left behind. Everyone is cared for, fed, and provided for. Everyone is loved and accepted exactly as they are.

All blessings and miracles in the world are visible from this place of absolute truth.

May your day be filled with love and miracles!

 

A Journey Within

A Journey WithinIt’s been so long since I’ve written, I forgot my WordPress password! If you’re reading this wondering where I’ve been, I took a break. A long break. I write when I feel inspired. When I feel I have a message to share. The messages come from a place deeper than my own heart. Through this blog, you have joined me on my spiritual journey. For the last while, I’ve been struggling to put into words what’s been going on within.

Normally easily excitable in good stress and in bad, I am now less excitable and filled with a quiet peace. It’s not always a happy peace, but it is a peace no less. Normally positive with a belief of “everyone is doing the best they can even when it seems wrong to others”, I find myself questioning these very beliefs. How is it that when I look around I see genuinely good people being hurt or misguided by people who don’t seem to be “doing the best they can” or even doing what they surely know to be right. I stopped reading. I stopped writing. I took a little hiatus from my social life. Even kept social media to a bare minimum. I needed to explore my beliefs listening only to the messages within my own heart. I haven’t yet decided whether this shift in thinking feels better or not, but it often somehow feels more real, like a truth.

I believe that positivity plays a key role in our perceptions, and that our perceptions shape our world. Our unique perceptions allow us to see our lives as a beautiful journey even through the challenges we inevitably face. Perceptions can also allow us to see our lives as one hot hopeless mess. It’s not about seeing the world through rose colored glasses, positivity simply helps us to see life through a more beautiful lens.

I believe that most people have good hearts and genuinely do the best they can with what they know. Even when it doesn’t make sense to the rest of the world. I call this being led by the light. People who live their lives being led by compassion, connectivity, and purpose. As there are people who are led by light, there are also those who are easily driven by darkness. People who are driven by vengeance, anger, and fear. I believe that as perception is a matter of choice, so is the manner in which we choose to be led. It is not a matter of being created this way or that. It is a choice we are given every single moment of every single day.  We choose whether the decisions we make allow us to be driven by darkness or led by light.

I’ve shed more tears than I care to share struggling to figure out why bad things happen to good people. Why life seems so unfair sometimes. I don’t have the answers, I likely never will. All I have is my own heart and the gift to make my own decisions. I choose to be led by the light. I choose to believe that when “bad” things happen, somewhere within it is a lesson we must learn. One that will help us along our journey somehow, someway, one day. I continue to believe that life is intricately organized chaos. The people we meet, the challenges we face, the places we end up, there is an explicit reason for all of it.

During my break from reading, writing, and socializing,  I also took an unexpected break from dreaming. This wasn’t a choice, I still can’t explain it. I’m not sure if it stems from a fear of success or failure after all that has transpired with my book. (For those of you who don’t know,  it is due to a series of unfortunate events that  I no longer have a publisher, I will not be compensated for any online sales, and all the money I put into being published is gone. If I wish to sell my book once my copies are gone, I will need to come up with another chunk of cash in order to find a new publisher. OUCH! it still hurts!) For now, and for the last while, I have been committed to each day rather than to my dreams of the future. It’s not nearly as exciting most of the time, but I must admit, it’s been surprising and I might be falling in love with it. I am open to opportunities that present themselves. I am taking on small projects that I wouldn’t have had time for while living in my dream bubble.

Thank you, readers for providing me with a space to express myself and thank you for being my silent partner on this journey of self discovery. It’s not always a beautiful journey with chirping birds, sunshine and songs, sometimes it’s more like pain. Sometimes, it’s somewhere right in the middle. Writing allows me to share a piece of my deepest self . It requires a raw vulnerability which pushes me just far enough outside my comfort zone to grow.  I wish I could take you inside my heart just once to feel what I feel when I reach out to you, and you reach back to me. I fully embrace your awesomeness 🙂

You may also enjoy My Faith Unveiled , Did God Overestimate Me, 10 Lessons I Learned From Debra Poneman

Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo – Embrace Your Uniqueness

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Featuring art by The Heart Painter and Nicole Cote

Dear Love,

You were born with special qualities and traits. It’s so important to love and accept every part of yourself as a valuable contribution to what makes you so wonderfully you. No one else can be you better than you can!

You were born exactly the way you are to learn the lessons and achieve the miracles that only you can.

Embrace your uniqueness!

Loving you just as you are, forever.

Love Mom xo

On June 26th, Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo will celebrate it’s official launch. Anyone who orders the book that day from Amazon.com will also receive a list of downloadable gifts offered to you from transformational leaders Shawne Duperon, Teresa Degrosbois, Debra Poneman, Susan Heim, Shayla Logan, Temba Spirit, and Heather Cournoyer.

In honor of this most exciting event, I will be sharing with you a letter from Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo every day from now until then. If what you read touches your heart, I encourage you to please share it with others ❤

Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo – The First Letter

On June 26th, Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo will celebrate it’s official launch. Anyone who orders the book that day from Amazon.com will also receive a list of downloadable gifts offered to you from transformational leaders Shawne Duperon, Teresa Degrosbois, Debra Poneman, Susan Heim, Shayla Logan, Temba Spirit, and Heather Cournoyer.

In honor of this most exciting event, I will be sharing with you a letter from Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo every day from now until then. If what you read touches your heart, I encourage you to please share it with others ❤

Heart Painter

My Dear Child,

I want you to know that your life has made a remarkable difference in mine.

You’ve touched my life in ways that I can’t explain. I’ve learned more from you than I’ve learned from anyone or anything else in this world. You are a true gift.

Make no mistake; I am not the only one who feels this way. I’m proud to say I’ve seen you touch many people’s lives in many different ways and you’ve been doing it since the day you were born.

I am honored to call you my child.

Always by your side,

Love Mom xo

Where it all began: The Making of A Book That Broke My Heart

Surrendering

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Father, I give You all my thoughts today. I would have none of mine. In place of them, give me Your Own. I give You all my acts as well, that I may do Your Will instead of seeking goals which cannot be obtained, and wasting time in vain imaginings. Today I come to You. I will step back and merely follow You. Be You the guide, and I the follower who questions not the wisdom of the Infinite, nor Love who’s tenderness I cannot comprehend, but which is yet Your perfect gift to me. ~ A Course In Miracles

Isn’t it beautiful?

Embrace Your Awesomeness!

You may also like My Faith Unveiled, Journey Through Miracles,  Did God Overestimate Me?

Great Courage Can Come in the Smallest Packages – a tribute to Princess Laura

ImageOn January 30th 2013, Laura will be celebrating her 4th birthday! In honor of her birthday, I would like to share her story with you.

Laura was born a happy, healthy baby. A beautiful little package sent from Heaven welcomed into a family with a devoted Mother, a Daddy who is her hero, and a Big Sister who loves her to pieces. Laura never got sick, ever. In fact, the first time she ever needed medical attention was when she was 3 years old. She had fallen and needed X-rays. No one could have prepared themselves for the sequence of events that would follow those X-rays.

Laura has Leukemia. Those three words shattered their hearts and changed their lives forever. Big Sister Victoria cried “why is my sister sick?” Victoria was 8 years old and understood cancer. Laura’s parents were in shock. The next few days were spent expecting the Doctor to call saying it was all a big mistake, the test results were wrong and their little baby girl was fine.

That call never came.

Laura’s Mom continued to pray asking “why? Why my baby? Why would God allow this to happen?”

Do you know that even in the midst of complete heartache, she never loses faith? Do you know why? She told me because she looks into little Laura’s eyes and she knows she’s in God’s hands. She trusts in God’s plan and thanks Him everyday choosing her to be little Laura’s caregiver … Take a moment to really take that in….God bless her.

Laura’s chemotherapy treatments are trying, they take a lot out of her, but even at 3 years old, she toughs it out and remains strong. Laura met her best friend Riley in the hospital, at the time Riley was being treated for kidney cancer. Sadly, Riley passed away only days before celebrating her 4th birthday. Although the time they spend together was brief, they forged a bond that Laura won’t likely forget.

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Two months ago, Laura lost her hair. Her Daddy proudly supported his little girl by honoring the day with a ‘shave day’. He shaved his head to match hers. Embrace his awesomeness!

Being 5 years older than Laura, Big Sister Victoria is a huge help in Laura’s care taking. She asked to have her head shaved too, but it’s hard for little girls to grow their hair back, so she still has hers. Embrace her awesomeness!

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This year Laura will be celebrating her birthday with all her favorite princesses at Disney. Please join me in wishing her a very happy birthday and “liking” her page Team Laura. (Maybe send a shout out to Victoria, Mommy, and Daddy too 🙂  )

Laura continues to stay strong, facing challenges head on and tackling every obstacles that stand in her way. We can all learn from Princess Laura’s bravery and strength.

We embrace your awesomeness Princess Laura!

What will you take from her story?

Please help me share Laura’s story with the rest of the world. Her story deserves to be heard and her family could use all the love and support they can get.

All Love,

Sandy

If you enjoyed this blog, you may also like Unleasing The Hero Within.

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My Faith, Unveiled

Since the birth of my blog, I have been questioned countless times about my faith. People are curious as to what I call myself. What religion I follow, If I consider myself a Christian, and who is my God?

So here it is…my faith, unveiled.

I want to first be very clear that I struggled with sharing this post and only did so because so many of you have asked. I am willing to share my point of view, however this entry is not meant to convert you to my way of thinking, and it is in no way meant to impede on any other persons belief system. I have friends who emanate a love so pure that it can be felt by everyone around them and they each have different belief systems. My faith is sacred to me. It is my foundation. It comes from a place of love that allows me to be my best self, as is probably the same for you and your belief system. Religion and spirituality are a hot topic…I am only sharing with you what I have been asked.

I was baptized and raised in the Catholic faith. I am fascinated by the teachings of various religions. It seems that as many religions as there are, and though their words may differ, the teachings are relatively all the same. In how many languages can you speak Love?

I study and try my best to live by the teachings of A Course In Miracles. A Course in Miracles is is a unique, universal, self-study spiritual thought system that teaches that the way to love and inner peace is through forgiveness. Although the language of the Course is that of traditional Christianity, it expresses a non-sectarian, non-denominational spirituality. It is a universal spiritual teaching, not a religion.It’s teachings resonate with me. Through these teachings, I have learned to seek  answers within my own heart.I have learned to love what is and trust in God’s plan. My journey through this course has been nothing short of miraculous and unquestionably beautiful.

As for my beliefs…I believe in God. I believe in one God. I see Him as a being of pure and absolute love. I believe that everything He created, He did so in His own image…meaning to me, that God’s pure and absolute love is found within all of His creation. I believe he created me exactly as I am, and you exactly as you are. I believe He did so in order for us to carry out a very special purpose, a purpose we have been carrying out our whole lives, most of the time unknowingly. I believe that life is divinely organized. I like to believe that God and I create my life together. He has my back, and I do my best to have His. I communicate with God through prayer and I believe I have learned to feel His love and ‘hear’ His guidance with my heart. Through this precious relationship, He has helped me to achieve what I only dared to dream.

When bad things happen, I do my best to see them as gifts. How often has something felt like a disaster that later turned into a blessing? No human being is perfect, it’s what makes us human. We make mistakes, and we learn from them. The best lessons are those we have learned in turmoil and disappointment. I do my best to see God in all things, whether they seem good or bad. God is everywhere. Miracles surround us every single day. We need only to pay attention in order to see them.

Every failure is a stepping stone to success; to relish the sweetness of success one must endure the pain of failure

I had always considered myself a Christian, however I’ve been corrected by others who follow this faith. Many have referred to me as “new-age-y”. I’m okay with either or none. I guess I don’t really fit into any particular box. No matter what anyone wants to call it, I know it as Beautiful. So now when people ask what they should call me, I simply answer them “my friends call me Sandy :)”

So many wars, arguments, and fights have erupted in the name of religion. As long as one is coming from a place of pure love, real love, does it matter what label or title we attach to their beliefs? What happens to people like me? People who don’t quite fit into any particular religion?

I know my heart, and God knows it too. When I die, I just can’t believe that God will look upon my soul and say “Well Sandy, you did your best and you spread as much love as you could everywhere you went. It’s too bad you chose the wrong the religion.”

And so there you have it…my spirit, my heart, and my soul…my faith, unveiled…only because you asked. 🙂

I am always happy to hear your thoughts, I ask only that with this particular post, on this personal subject, that you respect my faith as I respect yours, even if they differ. As I said, my faith is very sacred to me. I am always learning, I am always evolving, and I look forward to continuing my journey in my own way. I would much rather live my life believing in all the beauty and love a heart can hold and die to find out I was wrong, than to live my life in fear or judgement only to die to find out love and forgiveness were always the answer.

The Making of A Book That Broke My Heart

Death happens. It is the saddest most difficult part of life. We all experience death, no one is immune. It can happen any day, at any age, at any stage, to anyone. There is no warning, there is no real preparing, for how  do you say good-bye to someone you love? How do those you love say good-bye to you?

The day this harsh reality hit me, was the day Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo was born.

I remember looking at my children and accepting the reality that there are no guarantees that I would be granted another day with them. There are no guarantees that I will be there when they get married, or have children of their own. There are no guarantees that I will see them graduate or experience their fist date. No guarantees, no warning, no last hug or kiss good-bye. One day it could all be gone. That truth left me fearful. And yet I was filled with a deep sense of gratitude for each and every moment I had been gifted to that day.

Looking into their little faces, I wondered, if something were to happen to me, how long would it take them to begin to forget about the woman that loved them so deeply, the woman they refer to as Mom? How long would it take for them to forget about the crazy morning songs I sing to them when I wake them up? Or the silly nick names I give them? What would they remember of me? What would they miss the most? Who would they turn to when they needed their Mom?

That night, at 3am, I woke up frantically searching in the dark for a pen and paper. The first of the letters was born. The message was so beautiful and absolutely perfect, each word was written through tears for each word held within it the truth of a Mother’s love.

In the months that followed, more letters emerged. Always in the middle of the night, or just before falling asleep. Each letter was uplifting, encouraging, inspiring, and encompassed as much love as a letter could hold.  Each  letter provided guidance through life’s every day challenges and was written in a way that whether they were read as children or as adults, the messages that needed to be heard, would be.

Every letter broke my heart as I took myself out of this world and crossed over to the next where I would place myself watching over my children with all the love and protection of a Mother Angel. Every letter was created on tear stained sheets, in the dark, with a pen in one hand and Kleenex in the other. The whole process was heart wrenching and absolutely worthwhile. No matter what my children will always know that I love them, and through those letters they will feel the absolute, unconditional love of their Mother. They will know how to reach me, they will know my heart, and my deepest wish for their happiness. I have left no room for them to doubt that our love is strong enough to bridge this world and the next.

I felt compelled to share the letters with friends and family. I couldn’t have imagined the impact it would have. I am so pleased that with the help of Teresa DeGrosbois and Faye Levow, and the encouragement of so many Leaders in the transformational world such as best selling author Debra Poneman & Sheri Fink, Susan Heim with Chicken Soup for the Soul, and 6-Time EMMY Winner Shawne Duperon to name a few, Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo is now published and available for purchase. For more information visit our website.

Having the letters published took some careful consideration, these were intimate letters to my children. I would only have them published if it was possible for readers to add their own cherished memories, words of wisdom and love to the pages of the book. The team at Launch Pad Publishing made it happen. Artists Nicole Cote and The Heart Painter have turned the book into a treasured keepsake. Their work is exquisite. I couldn’t be more pleased with the results and I am excited to share these letters with you ❤

May your journey through the Letters be as powerful as mine ❤

All love,

Sandy Bucholtz

Journey Through Miracles – a personal story

 

I’d like to share with you a personal story of empowerment and inspiration; my journey through A Course in Miracles.

A Course In Miracles is a unique, universal, self-study spiritual thought system that teaches that the way to Love and Inner Peace is through Forgiveness. Although my journey is yet to be completed, it still deserves to be shared.

Through the course, I learned to accept that things are rarely as they seem. Everything I see in my world is a matter of perception, rather than a matter of truth. Learning this truth allowed me to see each person, myself included, as beings doing the best we can with what we know. I learned to listen with both ears and a compassionate and open heart. I learned to question less the ways of the world and trust that everything is as it should be for reasons only known to God.

I also learned the importance of my own self-worth. Realizing that not only am I enough, I am precisely, and exactly as I was always intended to be. I think this was the hardest truth for me to accept. I hadn’t realized how unworthy I felt of receiving love until I pushed myself through this lesson. Tears streamed down my face as I recognized how my lack of self-worth affected every single relationship I had in and throughout my life. It affected my choices, it hindered my happiness. I allowed myself to come last. I allowed myself to be hurt. I allowed myself to be taken for granted. It affected every area of my life and every relationship I had. The moment I genuinely accepted and embraced my worth, everything changed. Instantaneously, without warning, without reason, the most beautiful change had taken place.

My favorite lesson so far is that of forgiveness. It was also the most difficult. Forgiveness is hard. Forgiving the past, forgiving those who hurt me, forgiving those who continue to cause me grief was hard. Forgiving myself was harder. I learned that forgiveness is not about being okay with an injustice, it’s not about ignoring a problem. Forgiveness is simply understanding that as humans, we are all created to make mistakes. Our mistakes teach us to be and do better. It’s so important to remember – even when we don’t understand – We are all doing the best we can and things are rarely as they seem. Forgiveness is to me the most beautiful lesson so far because I have learned to feel worthy enough to walk away from those who cause me pain, and not only have I been able to forgive them, I am able to genuinely love them. I don’t always agree with their choices, I don’t always like them, I keep healthy boundaries, and I love them from a place of peace.

When I started A Course in Miracles, I was excited to see miracles unfold before me, now as I continue through the Course, I’m fascinated to see the miracles unfolding within me!

Here’s to you and your journey!

Embrace Your Awesomeness!

 

Bernard Charles

@thecolormage - color stylist for your soul

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