I Tortured My Kid With Song! Creative Parenting

Simon CowellHow many times have you wished you were different than you were? Wished your hair was straight instead of curly, or that you had a talent for cooking instead of burning, or that you were athletic instead of clumsy? I can’t tell you how often I’ve wished for a beautiful singing voice. I love music, I love to dance (can’t dance but I pretend I can), I love to sing (can’t sing but pretend I can). When my babies were little, they used to love when I sang them songs…actually, now that I think of it, they never actually asked me to sing….hmmm….interesting. Oh well. I sang to them a lot, when they went to sleep, when they woke up, as they got ready for school. Never any specific song, nope. I made up each song as I went along. I thought they loved it because my singing always made them laugh. I’ve noticed that the older they get, the more they plead with me to stop singing….they still laugh….most of the time.

Last week, I stumbled upon a gift that is sure to serve me well for the rest of my life. You will never believe what it was…my voice! My beautiful singing voice! Allow me to fill you in…what I am about to share with you is a true story…one that any parent can appreciate.

It was a Sunday like any other dedicated to cleaning up the house in preparation of a brand new week. There I was begging my 11 year old son to clean his room. I had tried everything to get him motivated to create a space he could relax in. I’ve hidden money in his room, I’ve bribed him with quality time exchanges, I’ve taken away his toys, I’ve made him do his own laundry, I’ve taken his beloved extra-curricular activities away, nothing seems to work long term. The best I got was a half-assed clean sweep.

On this day, in another attempt at motivation, I suggested he crank some music. It always worked for me, Dance! Sing! while you clean up. The job seems to do itself! For whatever reason, I can’t remember he said he couldn’t play the music in his room so I offered to sing to him…..WHAM! That’s when it happened, “No! No! Mom, don’t sing!”idea

“I’ll tell you what, I won’t sing if you clean your room, I mean really clean it. If you stop cleaning it before it’s done, I will sing.” He did as any kid his age would do. He called my bluff. Out of my mouth came Taylor Swift and WHAM! “Okay Mom! Okay! Look at me, I’m cleaning my room! See?” Within less than an hour his room was spotless! Brilliant!! That was a major discovery I made right there!!

Unfortunately, this technique will not work for every parent, only maybe those with a special kind of voice. All I’m saying is just for today trust in your whole being and embrace every part of you because sometimes what you may perceive as a fault may one day prove to be your greatest asset 🙂

Embrace your awesomeness!

If you liked this post, share it with others who will too! You may also like The Solo Adventure of a Geographically Challenged Mom, Mommy’s Escape – The end of a beautiful affair, and The Making of a Book That Broke My Heart

Taking off the Blinders

It is said that when we reach a place of perfect understanding, we will be shown our life through a new lens; one that will shed light on our darker side in order to see the error of our ways and gain an even deeper understanding of ourselves and life itself. In other words, when you think you’ve got your world figured out, you have an epiphany of sorts that sucker punches you in the face and taunts “you haven’t got a clue!” ….. I think I’ve been sucker punched. I see my darker side.

I’ve genuinely done my best (at least most days) to be a good person. My motto is “As I live each day may I make a difference and touch one heart…each day it is my goal to bring smiles and laughter into a soul.” I do whatever I can to be mindful of other people’s feelings. I believe my gift is seeing the “awesome” in others when they can’t see it in themselves and I take pride in delivering that message to whomever needs it, whenever they need it. Beautiful, right?

The truth is, as much joy as I may have brought to peoples lives, I have caused as much or more pain. I hurt the ones I love deeply. I have unintentionally pushed away everyone I love in one way or another, at one time or another, and I have done it all my life. I have always meant well, and they love me all the same, but I realize I have been sloppy in  my relationships to others.

More times than not, I am so focused my own little world that I lose touch with everything else around me. I miss all the little details that matter. I don’t think about picking something up for someone else while I’m in town. I don’t think about stopping in to see people when I’m doing errands. I don’t think to call to see how an appointment went or to see if someone’s feeling better when they’ve been sick. I don’t think to offer to drive people around when they don’t have a car or lend a helping hand when it’s needed. I will always do my best to help out when asked but, chances are, common sense or not, on my own I won’t even think about helping out. My mind is always preoccupied with “Am I forgetting something?”, “OMG! We’re going to be late!”, “Where is that smell coming from?”, “Why do all the other Moms always look like they have it together?”, “Seriously, what is that smell?”, “I know I’m forgetting something!”, “What do you mean there are no underwear in your drawer?”, “OMG! We are late again!”

When a loved one calls, it’s always a welcome reprieve. However, it’s rare enough for them to receive a call from me ~ other than my Mom, who I will call in bouts of consistency, (if that even makes sense) and when I do, how often have I just asked how she’s doing? For me to call people, I always believe that surely they’ve got better things to do than have idle chat with me. Text messaging as far as I’m concerned, was a true gift to Mother’s everywhere, I can text someone a line or two and they will read and respond when they have a spare moment to do so. No pressure. No worries. We all live busy lives. I don’t ever feel like I’m inconveniencing someone when I shoot off a text. It hadn’t even dawned on me that aside from an occasional text, those who love us need to see our face and hear our voice once in a while to know that they matter.

Why couldn’t I have realized this before my Mama, and my Mother-In-Law passed away? They were two of the nicest people on earth and funny as hell. I loved them both to bits, but rarely visit for surely they would have better things to do than to entertain me!

When my friends need a boost, nothing fills my heart more than to be the provider of that boost. It’s my gift!! However, when I feel a sense of unbalance, I tend to go within. It feels right for me, it gives me time to find my own answers. As comfortable as I am with that tendency, those who I have provided with a boost or two, would love the chance to return the favor once in a while. I hadn’t realized that when I “go within” I put up an invisible wall around me. Sometimes I will “go within” for days, sometimes weeks, however long it takes, I’m usually for the most part MIA. Although carried out with the best of intentions, the fact remains…I’m MIA.

I have now realized it’s a  cycle that’s been there my whole life…

I help others recognize and embrace their inner awesome allowing them to let go of their own judgements. Once they feel awesome and unstoppable, I do too and I decide to take the steps I need to get my life in balance. I vow to get my home in some kind of working order. I realize the magnitude of my incompetence in that area and realize I will never “have it all together” like all the other Moms. I then go within. I recognize that I am my own person, my children love me just the way I am, my husband loves me in spite of it, and most days I’m very happy living my daily life by my own rules flying by the seat of my pants, it keeps everyone entertained. I embrace my awesomeness! And then the cycle repeats…

My friends and my family are the icing on my cake of life 🙂 We always have a blast together. And yet, it’s rare for me to share a normal-everyday-day with them because on a normal-everyday-day I am consumed with trying to make sense of the chaos of daily living, and in order to function, I need a good chunk of solitude every single day. What I have come to realize, is that in order to function as my best self, those who love me need to be a bigger part of that daily living, even if it is in the midst of complete chaos!

I am a good friend, wife, daughter, sister, mother….I am not great in any of those roles, (although I am a pretty good mom…..) there is plenty of room for improvement in each and every relationship.

Taking a look at your life through a different lens is sometimes hard, especially when that lens shows a darker side than you’re used to seeing. The gift is that when we take the time to see another face of the paradigm, we can make any necessary adjustments and learn to embrace our “shadow” as well as our light, for every face makes up the beautiful package that makes us who we are!

Embrace your awesomeness!

Journey Through Miracles – a personal story

 

I’d like to share with you a personal story of empowerment and inspiration; my journey through A Course in Miracles.

A Course In Miracles is a unique, universal, self-study spiritual thought system that teaches that the way to Love and Inner Peace is through Forgiveness. Although my journey is yet to be completed, it still deserves to be shared.

Through the course, I learned to accept that things are rarely as they seem. Everything I see in my world is a matter of perception, rather than a matter of truth. Learning this truth allowed me to see each person, myself included, as beings doing the best we can with what we know. I learned to listen with both ears and a compassionate and open heart. I learned to question less the ways of the world and trust that everything is as it should be for reasons only known to God.

I also learned the importance of my own self-worth. Realizing that not only am I enough, I am precisely, and exactly as I was always intended to be. I think this was the hardest truth for me to accept. I hadn’t realized how unworthy I felt of receiving love until I pushed myself through this lesson. Tears streamed down my face as I recognized how my lack of self-worth affected every single relationship I had in and throughout my life. It affected my choices, it hindered my happiness. I allowed myself to come last. I allowed myself to be hurt. I allowed myself to be taken for granted. It affected every area of my life and every relationship I had. The moment I genuinely accepted and embraced my worth, everything changed. Instantaneously, without warning, without reason, the most beautiful change had taken place.

My favorite lesson so far is that of forgiveness. It was also the most difficult. Forgiveness is hard. Forgiving the past, forgiving those who hurt me, forgiving those who continue to cause me grief was hard. Forgiving myself was harder. I learned that forgiveness is not about being okay with an injustice, it’s not about ignoring a problem. Forgiveness is simply understanding that as humans, we are all created to make mistakes. Our mistakes teach us to be and do better. It’s so important to remember – even when we don’t understand – We are all doing the best we can and things are rarely as they seem. Forgiveness is to me the most beautiful lesson so far because I have learned to feel worthy enough to walk away from those who cause me pain, and not only have I been able to forgive them, I am able to genuinely love them. I don’t always agree with their choices, I don’t always like them, I keep healthy boundaries, and I love them from a place of peace.

When I started A Course in Miracles, I was excited to see miracles unfold before me, now as I continue through the Course, I’m fascinated to see the miracles unfolding within me!

Here’s to you and your journey!

Embrace Your Awesomeness!

 

Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo

 

Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo is a keepsake of letters written with the love of a mother’s heart to her children.  Each of the letters are uplifting and provide encouragement through the challenges we all face in daily living.With a strong focus on self-love and inspiration, it has been described as a translation of a Mother’s love to simple words. No matter what your age, this book is sure to tug at the heartstrings of your soul.

Scattered throughout the book are blank pages to add your own mementos and messages. A trailer of the book is available here  www.lettersfromheavenlovemom.com

From the bottom of my heart to the very depths of yours, I hope you are as touched reading the letters as I was writing them.

Embrace Your Awesomeness!

All Love,

Sandy Bucholtz

The Gift Of YOU

YOU are a gift to this world.

You have qualities and traits that are uniquely yours. Every detail of you was created with divine precision. Every aspect of you was created with your destiny in mind. Everything about you was created exactly right, and on purpose. You are a magnificent creation. Take a moment and close your eyes. Try to imagine the image God held when He created you. He doesn’t make mistakes. Every living being is a miracle and you are no exception.

YOU are perfectly YOU.

No one can be you better than you can.

Embrace YOUR Awesomeness!

It’s your turn! What do you think makes us all so perfectly unique?

Don’t miss this one! What The World Needs…is you!

This one was made for especially for my dear lady readers ❤  You…Through My Eyes

Step Into Your Power

The beauty of life is that regardless of your past, YOU alone shape your future.

Through your sheer will and determination of choosing something ‘more’ or ‘different’ combined with your choice to act in favor of your chosen destiny, YOU shape your future, every day, in every moment.

Ever heard the saying “your habits can make you or break you”? Think about it….What are YOUR habits? It’s YOUR habits that make you a success, and it’s YOUR habits that determine the level of your success.

And wait! It gets even better! YOU and YOU alone get to decide whether to stay on the course your life is taking or change it, at any given time, as often as you like.

YES, YOU have that much power!

YOU are your own Super Hero!

Embrace YOUR AWESOMENESS!

It’s your turn! How do you feel after reading this blog? Are you ready to step into your power??

If you liked this post you may also like Unleash Your Inner Super-Self, You…Through My eyes, New Perspective, New Results

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