Tug of War with Depression

peekIt’s been a while since I’ve posted. Truth is, I’m being stalked…it’s this pesky relentless little thing sometimes referred to as depression that seems to grab hold of me from time to time. That monster has the power to shake me up and tear me down. Sometimes I can slay that dragon like the superhuman I am. Sometimes the fight drains the ‘super’ right out of me. Sometimes it lasts a day, sometimes a week, sometimes a little longer, sometimes a lot longer. My battle is mild compared to the wars others fight with this demon. When I am struggling and I smile, it’s a joyous moment. I am not wearing a mask. There are moments that grab me, usually when I am with people, simple genuine moments of joy that gently kiss my spirit. There are a number of things that have the power to uplift my soul during difficult times if only for a short while. Kindness is the one gift that packs the biggest punch. Random Acts of Kindness, carrying them out and / or witnessing them has a definite impact during trying times. The challenge for me, is accepting these gifts when I find myself in the grips of despair.

Fortunately, I don’t live in this space, I only visit periodically from time to time. Those visits teach me the importance of compassion, thoughtfulness, and kindness. It is in that place that I learn the ugliness of self-sabotage. It is there I learn the importance and the impact of sharing kind hearted, loving words of encouragement to those around me. It is thanks to those darker moments that I am generous with compliments and smiles.

When I am in a good place, I am feeling hopeful and alive. My time is spent with a focus on staying positive and seeking out the gifts of every day bliss. Joy comes easily. These are the moments, days, weeks, months, time I relish. Appreciation and gratitude abound! I’ve come to recognize the importance of Creativity and Passion in keeping my spirits up. When I’m putting genuine effort into doing the things I am truly passionate about, I soar! It’s easy and powerful and real.

I am on a mission to play with my creativity and reignite my passion. My blog will reflect that mission. Renaming my blog “Mixed Bag of Nuts” might be suiting 🙂 It’s time to get creative, mix it up, shake it up, stand tall, grow fierce and just have fun.

Embrace your awesomeness 🙂

Living Your Best Life – Part 3

If you are waiting for your ideal life to materialize, it’s time that you realize your life is waiting for you!

Here’s where change happens! This week we are going to take the first step to living life on your terms.

What are you hoping to take from the “Living Your Best Life” series? My best life starts with you…I love blogging, I love putting together the videos. My passion is helping you discover yours. My reward is sharing in your journey so please keep in touch. I would love to hear from you 🙂

Embrace your awesomeness!!

Living Your Best Life – Part 2

We’ve finally fully completed and uploaded Part 2 of Living Your Best Life! I hope you are as excited about this little adventure as we are 🙂

“Living Your Best Life” doesn’t have to feel like some grand gesture or mission impossible. It’s simply about living every day on purpose – making each day significant. Sometimes even putting it that way can sound a little daunting. Fortunately, it doesn’t need to be.

Through a series of videos, I would like to take this journey with you – from surviving each day to fully enjoying each day, going from content to being genuinely happy.

“Life’s Journey is surely not to arrive safely at the grave in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting WooHoo! What a ride!”

Here’s to making every day count! Please keep in touch, if something in these videos has struck a cord with you or you notice changes in your life as you take this journey with us, we want to hear about it!

Embrace Your Awesome Self 🙂

Living my Best Life Helping others Live Theirs

Helping people to discover their dreams and live their most joyful life is my greatest passion. Nothing makes my heart sing more than doing exactly that. Thankfully I had many curious friends willing to volunteer as my guinea pigs for each new approach I learned in all the training and research I immersed myself into which provided me with the opportunity to be part of some amazing changes in their lives. The most thrilling benefit to this work continues to be watching the difference in the lives of my children as they put into practice the teachings they learned from their Momma 🙂

Today I would like to invite you to take a journey with me, a journey where you get to be the star of your own story. No RSVP necessary, I’m ready when you are.

Taking off the Blinders

It is said that when we reach a place of perfect understanding, we will be shown our life through a new lens; one that will shed light on our darker side in order to see the error of our ways and gain an even deeper understanding of ourselves and life itself. In other words, when you think you’ve got your world figured out, you have an epiphany of sorts that sucker punches you in the face and taunts “you haven’t got a clue!” ….. I think I’ve been sucker punched. I see my darker side.

I’ve genuinely done my best (at least most days) to be a good person. My motto is “As I live each day may I make a difference and touch one heart…each day it is my goal to bring smiles and laughter into a soul.” I do whatever I can to be mindful of other people’s feelings. I believe my gift is seeing the “awesome” in others when they can’t see it in themselves and I take pride in delivering that message to whomever needs it, whenever they need it. Beautiful, right?

The truth is, as much joy as I may have brought to peoples lives, I have caused as much or more pain. I hurt the ones I love deeply. I have unintentionally pushed away everyone I love in one way or another, at one time or another, and I have done it all my life. I have always meant well, and they love me all the same, but I realize I have been sloppy in  my relationships to others.

More times than not, I am so focused my own little world that I lose touch with everything else around me. I miss all the little details that matter. I don’t think about picking something up for someone else while I’m in town. I don’t think about stopping in to see people when I’m doing errands. I don’t think to call to see how an appointment went or to see if someone’s feeling better when they’ve been sick. I don’t think to offer to drive people around when they don’t have a car or lend a helping hand when it’s needed. I will always do my best to help out when asked but, chances are, common sense or not, on my own I won’t even think about helping out. My mind is always preoccupied with “Am I forgetting something?”, “OMG! We’re going to be late!”, “Where is that smell coming from?”, “Why do all the other Moms always look like they have it together?”, “Seriously, what is that smell?”, “I know I’m forgetting something!”, “What do you mean there are no underwear in your drawer?”, “OMG! We are late again!”

When a loved one calls, it’s always a welcome reprieve. However, it’s rare enough for them to receive a call from me ~ other than my Mom, who I will call in bouts of consistency, (if that even makes sense) and when I do, how often have I just asked how she’s doing? For me to call people, I always believe that surely they’ve got better things to do than have idle chat with me. Text messaging as far as I’m concerned, was a true gift to Mother’s everywhere, I can text someone a line or two and they will read and respond when they have a spare moment to do so. No pressure. No worries. We all live busy lives. I don’t ever feel like I’m inconveniencing someone when I shoot off a text. It hadn’t even dawned on me that aside from an occasional text, those who love us need to see our face and hear our voice once in a while to know that they matter.

Why couldn’t I have realized this before my Mama, and my Mother-In-Law passed away? They were two of the nicest people on earth and funny as hell. I loved them both to bits, but rarely visit for surely they would have better things to do than to entertain me!

When my friends need a boost, nothing fills my heart more than to be the provider of that boost. It’s my gift!! However, when I feel a sense of unbalance, I tend to go within. It feels right for me, it gives me time to find my own answers. As comfortable as I am with that tendency, those who I have provided with a boost or two, would love the chance to return the favor once in a while. I hadn’t realized that when I “go within” I put up an invisible wall around me. Sometimes I will “go within” for days, sometimes weeks, however long it takes, I’m usually for the most part MIA. Although carried out with the best of intentions, the fact remains…I’m MIA.

I have now realized it’s a  cycle that’s been there my whole life…

I help others recognize and embrace their inner awesome allowing them to let go of their own judgements. Once they feel awesome and unstoppable, I do too and I decide to take the steps I need to get my life in balance. I vow to get my home in some kind of working order. I realize the magnitude of my incompetence in that area and realize I will never “have it all together” like all the other Moms. I then go within. I recognize that I am my own person, my children love me just the way I am, my husband loves me in spite of it, and most days I’m very happy living my daily life by my own rules flying by the seat of my pants, it keeps everyone entertained. I embrace my awesomeness! And then the cycle repeats…

My friends and my family are the icing on my cake of life 🙂 We always have a blast together. And yet, it’s rare for me to share a normal-everyday-day with them because on a normal-everyday-day I am consumed with trying to make sense of the chaos of daily living, and in order to function, I need a good chunk of solitude every single day. What I have come to realize, is that in order to function as my best self, those who love me need to be a bigger part of that daily living, even if it is in the midst of complete chaos!

I am a good friend, wife, daughter, sister, mother….I am not great in any of those roles, (although I am a pretty good mom…..) there is plenty of room for improvement in each and every relationship.

Taking a look at your life through a different lens is sometimes hard, especially when that lens shows a darker side than you’re used to seeing. The gift is that when we take the time to see another face of the paradigm, we can make any necessary adjustments and learn to embrace our “shadow” as well as our light, for every face makes up the beautiful package that makes us who we are!

Embrace your awesomeness!

The Making of A Book That Broke My Heart

Death happens. It is the saddest most difficult part of life. We all experience death, no one is immune. It can happen any day, at any age, at any stage, to anyone. There is no warning, there is no real preparing, for how  do you say good-bye to someone you love? How do those you love say good-bye to you?

The day this harsh reality hit me, was the day Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo was born.

I remember looking at my children and accepting the reality that there are no guarantees that I would be granted another day with them. There are no guarantees that I will be there when they get married, or have children of their own. There are no guarantees that I will see them graduate or experience their fist date. No guarantees, no warning, no last hug or kiss good-bye. One day it could all be gone. That truth left me fearful. And yet I was filled with a deep sense of gratitude for each and every moment I had been gifted to that day.

Looking into their little faces, I wondered, if something were to happen to me, how long would it take them to begin to forget about the woman that loved them so deeply, the woman they refer to as Mom? How long would it take for them to forget about the crazy morning songs I sing to them when I wake them up? Or the silly nick names I give them? What would they remember of me? What would they miss the most? Who would they turn to when they needed their Mom?

That night, at 3am, I woke up frantically searching in the dark for a pen and paper. The first of the letters was born. The message was so beautiful and absolutely perfect, each word was written through tears for each word held within it the truth of a Mother’s love.

In the months that followed, more letters emerged. Always in the middle of the night, or just before falling asleep. Each letter was uplifting, encouraging, inspiring, and encompassed as much love as a letter could hold.  Each  letter provided guidance through life’s every day challenges and was written in a way that whether they were read as children or as adults, the messages that needed to be heard, would be.

Every letter broke my heart as I took myself out of this world and crossed over to the next where I would place myself watching over my children with all the love and protection of a Mother Angel. Every letter was created on tear stained sheets, in the dark, with a pen in one hand and Kleenex in the other. The whole process was heart wrenching and absolutely worthwhile. No matter what my children will always know that I love them, and through those letters they will feel the absolute, unconditional love of their Mother. They will know how to reach me, they will know my heart, and my deepest wish for their happiness. I have left no room for them to doubt that our love is strong enough to bridge this world and the next.

I felt compelled to share the letters with friends and family. I couldn’t have imagined the impact it would have. I am so pleased that with the help of Teresa DeGrosbois and Faye Levow, and the encouragement of so many Leaders in the transformational world such as best selling author Debra Poneman & Sheri Fink, Susan Heim with Chicken Soup for the Soul, and 6-Time EMMY Winner Shawne Duperon to name a few, Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo is now published and available for purchase. For more information visit our website.

Having the letters published took some careful consideration, these were intimate letters to my children. I would only have them published if it was possible for readers to add their own cherished memories, words of wisdom and love to the pages of the book. The team at Launch Pad Publishing made it happen. Artists Nicole Cote and The Heart Painter have turned the book into a treasured keepsake. Their work is exquisite. I couldn’t be more pleased with the results and I am excited to share these letters with you ❤

May your journey through the Letters be as powerful as mine ❤

All love,

Sandy Bucholtz

Journey Through Miracles – a personal story

 

I’d like to share with you a personal story of empowerment and inspiration; my journey through A Course in Miracles.

A Course In Miracles is a unique, universal, self-study spiritual thought system that teaches that the way to Love and Inner Peace is through Forgiveness. Although my journey is yet to be completed, it still deserves to be shared.

Through the course, I learned to accept that things are rarely as they seem. Everything I see in my world is a matter of perception, rather than a matter of truth. Learning this truth allowed me to see each person, myself included, as beings doing the best we can with what we know. I learned to listen with both ears and a compassionate and open heart. I learned to question less the ways of the world and trust that everything is as it should be for reasons only known to God.

I also learned the importance of my own self-worth. Realizing that not only am I enough, I am precisely, and exactly as I was always intended to be. I think this was the hardest truth for me to accept. I hadn’t realized how unworthy I felt of receiving love until I pushed myself through this lesson. Tears streamed down my face as I recognized how my lack of self-worth affected every single relationship I had in and throughout my life. It affected my choices, it hindered my happiness. I allowed myself to come last. I allowed myself to be hurt. I allowed myself to be taken for granted. It affected every area of my life and every relationship I had. The moment I genuinely accepted and embraced my worth, everything changed. Instantaneously, without warning, without reason, the most beautiful change had taken place.

My favorite lesson so far is that of forgiveness. It was also the most difficult. Forgiveness is hard. Forgiving the past, forgiving those who hurt me, forgiving those who continue to cause me grief was hard. Forgiving myself was harder. I learned that forgiveness is not about being okay with an injustice, it’s not about ignoring a problem. Forgiveness is simply understanding that as humans, we are all created to make mistakes. Our mistakes teach us to be and do better. It’s so important to remember – even when we don’t understand – We are all doing the best we can and things are rarely as they seem. Forgiveness is to me the most beautiful lesson so far because I have learned to feel worthy enough to walk away from those who cause me pain, and not only have I been able to forgive them, I am able to genuinely love them. I don’t always agree with their choices, I don’t always like them, I keep healthy boundaries, and I love them from a place of peace.

When I started A Course in Miracles, I was excited to see miracles unfold before me, now as I continue through the Course, I’m fascinated to see the miracles unfolding within me!

Here’s to you and your journey!

Embrace Your Awesomeness!

 

Unleash your Inner Super-Self

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There is a fire inside of you just waiting to be ignited. You’ve got passion at the core of your being screaming to be unleashed. Is it a hobby, a cause, a belief? An act or art form? A big dream? Is it helping others, or making them laugh? What is it?

There is something that consumes you with enough interest that the mere thought of it turns you giddy with childlike enthusiasm. Everything about it you experience with heightened senses; ninja-like focus, razor-sharp memory, thoughts are clear and witty. It transforms you into the person you want to be – the person you know you are.

This is your passion – your calling – crying out to you. Are you listening?

It’s time to unleash your inner super-self and share your gifts with the world!

It’s time to slay your doubts, tackle your obstacles and boldly step forward. Your time is now and the world is ready for you. Be fearless, be strong, be confident, be free. You are destined for greatness!

Embrace Your Awesomeness!

If you liked this post you’ll love Step Into Your Power

Weights or Wings?

Take Flight!
We all have a story, how we perceive our story is what makes us who we are. Whatever your story, your past, your misfortunes, your mistakes, they don’t define you. You decide for yourself whether you will focus on the positive aspects of your life, or blame the negative. What’s your story? Does it weigh you down or give you wings to fly?

My story is unique, just like yours. As a young teen, I was on my own before the age of sixteen and at nineteen I developed a neck problem no one could diagnose. I can easily wallow any given day of the week and sometimes I do. When I was a child, my dream was to one day become a good mother. As a mother of three happy children, I choose to focus on the gifts bestowed upon me. I have had my fair share of tough breaks and then some, however my story, my past, my misfortunes, and my mistakes have shaped me into the person I am proud to be today.

Armed with nothing more than my own perspective, I shed my weights and gave my story wings that allow me to fly.

Embrace Your Awesomeness ~ Misfortunes and all

It’s your turn! How do you choose to tell your story?

You may also like Step Into Your Power

The Gift Of YOU

YOU are a gift to this world.

You have qualities and traits that are uniquely yours. Every detail of you was created with divine precision. Every aspect of you was created with your destiny in mind. Everything about you was created exactly right, and on purpose. You are a magnificent creation. Take a moment and close your eyes. Try to imagine the image God held when He created you. He doesn’t make mistakes. Every living being is a miracle and you are no exception.

YOU are perfectly YOU.

No one can be you better than you can.

Embrace YOUR Awesomeness!

It’s your turn! What do you think makes us all so perfectly unique?

Don’t miss this one! What The World Needs…is you!

This one was made for especially for my dear lady readers ❤  You…Through My Eyes

Pamela Tourigny

Brand Management, Story Telling, Marketing

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The Juicing Nomads

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” ― Oscar Wilde

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