Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo – Life is an Obstacle Course

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Artwork done my Nicole Cote and The Heart Painter

My Darling,

Life is an obstacle course. It is completely unpredictable and not always kind.

Obstacles and failures are necessary for our growth. Without them, we could never truly appreciate our achievements. Try to understand that every failure, every disaster, is simply a stepping stone to your ultimate achievements.

Watching over you always,

Love Mom xo

Be sure to check out Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo – Embrace Your Uniqueness, Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo – The First Letter, and The Making of a Book That Broke My Heart.

On June 26th, Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo will celebrate it’s official launch. Anyone who orders the book that day from Amazon.com will also receive a list of downloadable gifts offered to you from transformational leaders Shawne Duperon, Teresa Degrosbois, Debra Poneman, Susan Heim, Shayla Logan, Temba Spirit, and Heather Cournoyer.

In honor of this most exciting event, I will be sharing with you a letter from Letters From Heaven Love Mom xo every day from now until then. If what you read touches your heart, I encourage you to please share it with others ❤

Heartbreak and Hardships…sometimes life sucks

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Sometimes I feel like I’m forced to face the same challenge a hundred times over. Same people, similar circumstances, over and over and over again. It seems like no matter what I do, I find myself in the middle of a new act in the exact same circus. It’s not easy. It’s not fun. It takes it’s toll on my body, my mind, and my spirit. Sometimes I swear I can feel my heart cracking.

As much as each experience breaks my heart a little more than the last, I continue to be grateful for the lessons I have learned along this bumpy road;

  1. Things are rarely as they seem
  2. Everyone wants to be heard, not everyone wants to be helped
  3. Dishonesty can take many forms; half-truths, withheld information, and deliberate misleading. Sometimes it pays to dig a little deeper
  4. Every person is doing the best that they can with the knowledge that they have
  5. I can only help people that want to be helped and only to the extent that they want to be helped
  6. Everyone needs, deserves, and is entitled to compassion and encouragement
  7. Mistakes are inevitable – Apologies are necessary
  8. The more you give, the more people will take; Personal boundaries are vital to personal well-being
  9. When I do the same as I’ve done, I continue to see the same results

Number 10 …. If I continue to find myself in the middle of a destructive cycle, it’s time to ask the question; what role do I play in the cycle? Am I enabling the pattern?

I usually take on the role of peacekeeper, which sometimes also translates to ‘enabler’.  I’ve allowed myself to be played as the rope in the middle of a tug-a-war (a war that isn’t even mine to fight!). I am responsible for taking on those roles. By removing myself from the cycle, change in that cycle is inevitable.

Not so long ago, I had the opportunity to put this theory to the test. It was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. It was easily one of the most liberating as well.

We are all responsible for the choices we make in our lives. We are all responsible for the roles we play in it as well. If things aren’t working as they should, then is it not our responsibility to instill change?

Go for it!

Embrace your awesomeness!

If you enjoyed this post you may also enjoy Friendships, Forgiveness, and Jelly Beans

As always, I love to hear your thoughts 🙂 Feel free to leave your comments here or private messages can be sent via facebook

The Wall of Doubt

Every moment of every day, you decide what your future will look like. There is a voice inside your heart right now that is letting you know exactly what it wants. It may be a gentle whisper, it may be a relentless scream, but it’s there….listen…Can you hear it?

When you act on that little voice, everything in the world feels right. That is until you hit the Wall of Doubt. The Wall of Doubt is invisible to the eye and crippling to the soul. It is the only REAL obstacle you will face on your journey to fulfillment.

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The Wall of Doubt is the window to shattered dreams. There is no going around it, no avoiding it, no going over it, or under it. You must go through it.

Although The Wall of Doubt has many faces, it is nothing more than self-doubt manifested as misinterpreted discouragement in the words of others, misunderstood “signs” from above, and ill-perceived mistakes.

Let your mistakes be your motivation

As Chris and Janet Attwood said in The Passion Test “there are only three things holding you back; false beliefs, false concepts, and false ideas – which is really only one”. Make no mistake, the only one standing between you and success is YOU.

When you feel like the world is against you, consider this:

No matter what you do with your life, no matter what decisions you make, people will judge you. There’s no escaping it. Some will agree with your decisions, some will not. Some will celebrate your victories, some will not. Some will be sad when you are down, some will not. Succeed or fail, mistake or not, the fact is that it’s just not possible to please every one all the time. Try to please everyone and you are sure to fail 100% of the time. Why waste time worrying about the opinions of others? When you experience authentic joy, that joy will spill outside of you and onto every person in your life. Why not focus on that instead?

Remember This:

Things are rarely as they seem. When you find yourself in the midst of the judgement of others (especially from those you love), try to remember that although debilitating,  it may be coming from a place of love and protection. You can’t chase your dreams while living inside your comfort zone. When you step outside your comfort zone, you inevitably take those you love right outside of theirs. Of course they will kick up a fuss! Everyone’s irritable outside their zone, throw in the treat of worry for you and…well, now you’ve done it! When those you love come off as less than supportive, pay close attention. It’s likely not the lack of encouragement that is upsetting. More times than not it’s because the words we are hearing from them reflect the doubt we have in our own minds.

Stay true to that little voice inside your heart. Stand strong in face of doubt. Have faith and keep moving forward. Go ahead, Unleash your inner superstar!

You are a star!

Embrace Your Awesomeness!

It’s your turn! Share your thoughts!

If you’ve enjoyed this post you may also enjoy Step Into Your Power, 10 Lessons I Learned From Debra Poneman, Staying Positive In a Bad-Ass World, Unleash Your Inner Super Hero

Taking off the Blinders

It is said that when we reach a place of perfect understanding, we will be shown our life through a new lens; one that will shed light on our darker side in order to see the error of our ways and gain an even deeper understanding of ourselves and life itself. In other words, when you think you’ve got your world figured out, you have an epiphany of sorts that sucker punches you in the face and taunts “you haven’t got a clue!” ….. I think I’ve been sucker punched. I see my darker side.

I’ve genuinely done my best (at least most days) to be a good person. My motto is “As I live each day may I make a difference and touch one heart…each day it is my goal to bring smiles and laughter into a soul.” I do whatever I can to be mindful of other people’s feelings. I believe my gift is seeing the “awesome” in others when they can’t see it in themselves and I take pride in delivering that message to whomever needs it, whenever they need it. Beautiful, right?

The truth is, as much joy as I may have brought to peoples lives, I have caused as much or more pain. I hurt the ones I love deeply. I have unintentionally pushed away everyone I love in one way or another, at one time or another, and I have done it all my life. I have always meant well, and they love me all the same, but I realize I have been sloppy in  my relationships to others.

More times than not, I am so focused my own little world that I lose touch with everything else around me. I miss all the little details that matter. I don’t think about picking something up for someone else while I’m in town. I don’t think about stopping in to see people when I’m doing errands. I don’t think to call to see how an appointment went or to see if someone’s feeling better when they’ve been sick. I don’t think to offer to drive people around when they don’t have a car or lend a helping hand when it’s needed. I will always do my best to help out when asked but, chances are, common sense or not, on my own I won’t even think about helping out. My mind is always preoccupied with “Am I forgetting something?”, “OMG! We’re going to be late!”, “Where is that smell coming from?”, “Why do all the other Moms always look like they have it together?”, “Seriously, what is that smell?”, “I know I’m forgetting something!”, “What do you mean there are no underwear in your drawer?”, “OMG! We are late again!”

When a loved one calls, it’s always a welcome reprieve. However, it’s rare enough for them to receive a call from me ~ other than my Mom, who I will call in bouts of consistency, (if that even makes sense) and when I do, how often have I just asked how she’s doing? For me to call people, I always believe that surely they’ve got better things to do than have idle chat with me. Text messaging as far as I’m concerned, was a true gift to Mother’s everywhere, I can text someone a line or two and they will read and respond when they have a spare moment to do so. No pressure. No worries. We all live busy lives. I don’t ever feel like I’m inconveniencing someone when I shoot off a text. It hadn’t even dawned on me that aside from an occasional text, those who love us need to see our face and hear our voice once in a while to know that they matter.

Why couldn’t I have realized this before my Mama, and my Mother-In-Law passed away? They were two of the nicest people on earth and funny as hell. I loved them both to bits, but rarely visit for surely they would have better things to do than to entertain me!

When my friends need a boost, nothing fills my heart more than to be the provider of that boost. It’s my gift!! However, when I feel a sense of unbalance, I tend to go within. It feels right for me, it gives me time to find my own answers. As comfortable as I am with that tendency, those who I have provided with a boost or two, would love the chance to return the favor once in a while. I hadn’t realized that when I “go within” I put up an invisible wall around me. Sometimes I will “go within” for days, sometimes weeks, however long it takes, I’m usually for the most part MIA. Although carried out with the best of intentions, the fact remains…I’m MIA.

I have now realized it’s a  cycle that’s been there my whole life…

I help others recognize and embrace their inner awesome allowing them to let go of their own judgements. Once they feel awesome and unstoppable, I do too and I decide to take the steps I need to get my life in balance. I vow to get my home in some kind of working order. I realize the magnitude of my incompetence in that area and realize I will never “have it all together” like all the other Moms. I then go within. I recognize that I am my own person, my children love me just the way I am, my husband loves me in spite of it, and most days I’m very happy living my daily life by my own rules flying by the seat of my pants, it keeps everyone entertained. I embrace my awesomeness! And then the cycle repeats…

My friends and my family are the icing on my cake of life 🙂 We always have a blast together. And yet, it’s rare for me to share a normal-everyday-day with them because on a normal-everyday-day I am consumed with trying to make sense of the chaos of daily living, and in order to function, I need a good chunk of solitude every single day. What I have come to realize, is that in order to function as my best self, those who love me need to be a bigger part of that daily living, even if it is in the midst of complete chaos!

I am a good friend, wife, daughter, sister, mother….I am not great in any of those roles, (although I am a pretty good mom…..) there is plenty of room for improvement in each and every relationship.

Taking a look at your life through a different lens is sometimes hard, especially when that lens shows a darker side than you’re used to seeing. The gift is that when we take the time to see another face of the paradigm, we can make any necessary adjustments and learn to embrace our “shadow” as well as our light, for every face makes up the beautiful package that makes us who we are!

Embrace your awesomeness!

Obstacles, Challenges & Change…Oh, My!

All too often, we set a goal and put into place new habits to achieve a desired outcome…A Master Plan! And all too often, life gets in our way.

Sometimes we choose to surrender to the obstacles we face. Sometimes we choose to persevere in spite of them. Whatever we choose, the sad fact remains…we get knocked down far more often than we triumph.

And yet isn’t it facing and overcoming those same challenges and obstacles that makes our victory all the more sweet? Think about it…the more we fail and continue to move forward, the more triumphant we really are. I’m sure Helen Keller’s teacher, Anne Sullivan would agree 🙂

Every challenge and every obstacle make our journey all the more joyous in the end.

Sometimes the obstacles seem too great. Perhaps those are the times to seriously consider that although we may have a plan for our life, life may also have a plan for us.

Maybe the trick to keeping our head above water through difficult times is simply to allow and accept the challenges, the obstacles and the changes we’re forced to make as the sugar that makes our journey all the more sweet.

The next time life closes a door on you, take joy in having the courage to face it with determination and a great sense of humour because you know full well that your reward will be sweet!

“I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot. . . and missed. And I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why. . . I succeed.”
— Michael Jordan

Embrace your Awesomeness!

It’s your turn! This was my attempt to shift your perception of obstacles you face every day, did it work?

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