Did God Overestimate Me?

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They say that God will never give you more than you can handle. I really think He gave me too much credit. I think He overestimated my strength, my tolerance, my patience, and my overall ability to cope.

He’s right, I am compassionate but I have limits. I don’t mind listening, in fact I like it. I am fascinated with the way every person’s mind works. I am amazed at how perceptions can shape any experience. I love being able to provide a new way of seeing things whenever I can. I don’t mind holding the space for people when they just need a safe place to vent to let out all of their frustrations. Usually it’s in this space where they find their own answers. If they ask for help, I will go over and above to offer it. I love to witness the change from a discouraged heart to one that is empowered. It’s incredibly fulfilling to be a part of that process.

My stubborn nature doesn’t allow me to give up easily. This is a both a gift and a curse. I refuse to give up on those I love. I have enough faith in the process of life to allow them to make and learn from their own mistakes as long as they are moving forward. But I do not possess nearly the tolerance required to watch them choose to hit rock bottom when the the door to what they want is left wide open and ignored. Nor do I possess the ability to watch those I love continue to hurt to the point of despair. I was not created with a heart that allows me to cope well with being treated as a mere convenience or being kept on a need-to-know basis when I am expected to ‘help out’.

I keep asking Him what my lessons are in all of this. Perhaps it is simply to realize that it is not my responsibility to ‘fix’ everything for everybody. People change when they are ready to take the necessary steps to ensure change. Maybe it’s my lesson to continue to trust in Him, learn to let go, and accept that I am responsible for my own peace as everyone else is for theirs.

 

 

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The Morning God Wept

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On December 14th, 2012 at 9:30 am, a heavily armed man dressed in black infiltrated Sandy Hook Elementary School and without a word opened fire.Teachers locked their doors. Children were ordered to hide in corners, closets, and cupboards. A quick-thinking library clerk locked and barricaded 18 children in a storage room giving them crayons and paper to occupy their minds. A kindergarten teacher covered the windows and locked the doors to her classroom, and an effort to keep her students calm, she read them a story. The principal, the school psychologist and four teachers lost their lives trying to protect those of their young students.

Despite their best efforts, twenty 6 and 7 year old children lost their lives. The 400 that survived, aged 5-10 years old, are scarred with the memory of a nightmare and left brokenhearted  to mourn their siblings, cousins, and friends.

Although the shooting lasted only a few minutes, it’s effect will last a lifetime.

Children were led hand in hand, eyes closed, as they made their way through the aftermath of terror.

Frantic parents met the children at a nearby Firehall. The pain of looking for their child or children in the middle of such a tragedy would surely have been unimaginable. As would have been the grief of the parents who were forced to identify their children from photographs taken at the scene.

Obama echoed the voice of every parent when he said “we will hug our children a little tighter”. Unfortunately for some, this simple act could not be carried out that night.

On December 14th 2012, flags flew at half-staff and candlelight vigils were held nationwide. Newtown’s St. Rose of Lima Roman Catholic Church was filled to capacity with mourners and people trying to make sense of a gross injustice, people searching to grab hold of an ounce of hope in the midst of complete devastation.

On December 14th 2012, the nation wept as 20 little angels were sent back home into the arms God.

RIP Sandy Hook Elementary Victims, children and school staff

May God heal the hearts of the little one’s who survived and hold in his heart the families of those who did not.

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Unfortunately, I could not locate pictures of Madeleine Hsu, Allison Wyatt, Benjamin Wheeler, and Arielle Richman. May they rest in peace.

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