“Appropriate boundaries create integrity”
Throughout my life, I have struggled with the concept of Boundaries. I can still remember the first time I was introduced to the idea; I was in the midst of a complete meltdown, fed up and angry with my life. My ever-so-wise friend listened patiently as I cursed the world and everyone in it. “What are your boundaries?” She asked me. I had no answer. To be honest, I didn’t even fully understand the question.
The idea of boundaries put an image in my mind of cranky, irritable people that demand the impossible, and that was NOT me! The possibility of hurting someone else’s feelings made it uncomfortable for me to even entertain thinking about it. If I set boundaries, wouldn’t I make people feel bad for hurting me? I mean, what if they hadn’t intentionally hurt me?
In the years that followed, I often found myself returning to that conversation. And By George! I think I’ve got it! I still have a lot of work to do, don’t get me wrong, but I GET it!
Without even knowing it, we teach others how to treat us. Boundaries are simply guidelines for others to understand how we choose to be treated. Your boundaries reflect your values, and when you implement those boundaries, your world better reflects your values.
I could never have imagined the beautiful, power of change that comes with practicing healthy boundaries. It has literally changed my life and I’ve only just begun!
Clear, healthy boundaries provide a solid foundation for success in every day life. Established boundaries instill such a confidence, you instinctively begin to unleash your own personal superpower! If you feel yourself harbouring resentment with the world, it may be time to re-think your boundaries.
Embrace your awesomeness and your power within!
It’s your turn! Please take a moment to share your comments.
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/ January 29, 2012YOUR things and YOUR ipod.
My apologies…
Jill I. Maw
/ January 29, 2012Tanie, in my opinion your comment is exactly on topic. Had your cousin understood your boundries around you things, she would not have taken you ipod.
The big question here, again in my opinion, is this: have you set boundries with this cousin?
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/ January 27, 2012The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a thirty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!
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/ January 25, 2012Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! However, how can we communicate?
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Sandy Bucholtz
/ January 23, 2012Well said Jill! Thanks for taking the time to share 🙂 I wonder if boundaries are more of a challenge for women in general. With all the pressures and responsibilities we tend to take on, maybe we don’t even give it much thought. All the best to you!!
Jill I. Maw
/ January 22, 2012WOW! Boundries are all about respect of self and YOU’VE GOT IT!!!!
As a woman “of a certain age” I have struggled for decades with this issue. Indeed we do sometimes hurt others when we set boundries, but we make ourselves better able to deal with our lives and the people in them when we are giving as we can, when we can.
Whether it is demanding that email friends clean up their messages before sending them (a recent issue in my life) or putting an absolute stop to physical abuse, setting boundries allows us to grow and learn and be the best we can be!
🙂
Sandy Bucholtz
/ January 22, 2012Absolutely Holly! I think it’s much easier for people to feel comfortable with us when they know what our boundaries are. Thank you so much for your continued support with my blog 🙂
hollyhinton
/ January 22, 2012A timely reminder – thank you! I think we all struggle with boundaries at some point but by being firm about them with friends and family does lead to happier relationships in the end!